Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Dear Reverend Jack


I have an ugly free-standing basketball hoop in my yard leftover from
my
house's previous owners. The only use I have found for it thus far has
been
as a prop for Halloween decorations.

Last year I put a witch in the hoop, as if she had fallen from the sky
and
landed in the hoop.

This year, I plan on putting a disembodied head in the net, with a
headless
body underneath. Two points!

I have three questions for you:

1. Should I buy an actual head, or do you think a rubber mask over a
sphere-like object would suffice for the head?

2. Should I strap the body to the pole so it is standing upright, or
have
it lying prone on the ground?

3. Should I keep the ugly, rusting basketball pole, given its once a
year
usefulness, or remove it?

I thank you for your time and consideration.

8 Comments:

Blogger sysm said...

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October 04, 2005 8:11 AM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Sysm! I had a serious question here, and I demand answers! Or is taxidermy the answer... perhaps it is.

October 04, 2005 8:17 AM  
Blogger Rev. Jack said...

Sorry, the good reverend was just in a meeting!

After careful thought and prayer over the subject, I have your answer, my child, fear not.

First: Use an actual head

Second: Prop the torso in a sitting postion with it's back resting against the pole. This draws attention to both the torso and the head to passers-by.

Third: Since it's my opinion that basket-ball is a practice that should have gone out of style in the 40's and Dr. Naismith, hanged from the highest tree (or one of his infernal Basket-ball poles) remove the unsightly pole, preferably with a large amount of dynamite.

xoxo Rev. Jack

October 04, 2005 8:46 AM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

I've found that there are very few problems, ranging from an old couch to a new cat, that can't be solved with an adequate amount of fire.

October 04, 2005 12:15 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

I will find a lovely severed head, hopefully with bushy black eyebrows, a tongue lolling out, and plenty of gore protruding from the neck.

Sitting! An excellent compromise.

Dynamite? A wonderful suggestion. And Dilf claimed there was no easy way to get rid of it...

October 04, 2005 1:43 PM  
Blogger UberDILF said...

I'm glad you all have carefully thought out the consequences of said dynamite.

October 04, 2005 1:49 PM  
Blogger Rev. Jack said...

Perhaps you can implode it like an old building?

xoxo Rev. Jack

October 04, 2005 2:23 PM  
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