WTF Mr. Milkman!?
Dear Rev. Jack,
My milkman is cranky and petty.
He complains all the time. If I don't leave my empty bottles out, he gets bent out of shape and accuses me of becoming independently wealthy $.50 at a time by returning them fraudulently to the grocery store.
Then, he complains that I leave two many bottles out at once. I had to hear him whine about "35 bottles" today.
I hate him.
Should I tip him at Christmas? Should I deliberately annoy him with crazy milk bottle-related antics?
Or should I come to the door in a negligee and see if that mellows him out?
Signed,
Milk Fed-Up
posted by Rev. Jack at 4:34 PM
16 Comments:
I would remind him that if the dangerous, high-stress career as a milkman is too much for him, his job can be easily replaced by a once a week trip to the Oberweis store (or Dominicks if you aren't picky).
Although, it's against my principles to completely nix the negligee plan.
oxox Rev. Jack
I am in full disagreement with both of these "fellows."
First and foremost, a negligee is the perfect reponse to any conflict!
And (B) whatever happened to taking pride in ones chosen persona. Why it sounds like this paperman is the perfect asshole. Who else among us can claim perfection in any aspect of our lives?
Kudos to the paperman and best of luck to the Milkman! There but for the curse of charm go I!
1: Oberweiss!?! You're advocating buying milk from that fucking NAZI? There'll be plently of time to enrich his coffers when he burns down the Springfield Reichstag and takes over.
2: Remember the mailman from Funny Farm? He was pretty funny.
But he's a Nazi who produces very yummy milk, without pesticides or hormones...shut up B.A. Do you want me to analyze all of YOUR purchases?
Umm...I think you'd be hard-pressed to find anything that I've bought from a privately-held company owned by a NAZI who has run for political office on a platform of NAZI-ism.
And even harder-pressed to find me recommending that anyone else buy said product.
Remember the tow truck driver in Neighbors? He was pretty funny too.
Do porn and Cheetos come from nazis?
xoxo Rev. Jack
no, they come from Heaven. As do Little Debbie Swiss Rolls.
Nazi heaven?
Isn't that Valhalla?
But are there negligees in Nazi heaven? Hmmm...
Inaction and lethargy! That's the Dryesdale way!
ooh! all your hard work is starting to pay off in spades, Drysdale!
ooh! all your hard work is starting to pay off in spades, reverend!
pah! I'm drunk!
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