Whither Boyfriend?
My husband will be traveling extensively for business this month. Is it okay if I get a boyfriend while he's gone? I don't want him for sex, just to hang my curtain rod, change the furnace filter and watch TV with me. Oh, yeah, and to take out the garbage.
posted by Rev. Jack at 5:55 PM
37 Comments:
Good God, to get a boyfriend to do all of those things without sex?
Aim high, my dear.
...Good luck and God speed.
xoxo Rev. Jack
I already took out the garbage. And I had to watch "Lost" by myself.
And I guess I can wait for my new curtain rod. Oh, and a picture needs to be hung up, too. And there's the furnace filter.
So, do you know anyone who'd be interested in doing chores for me in exchange for my company?
P.S., I don't want to touch him, either. And he can't look at my cupcakes.
As long as he doesn't get to see the cupcakes, I'm on board with this plan. Hell get two of 'em.
"doing chores for me in the exchange for my company"? "I don't want him to touch me either"?
Congratulations ubermilf; you have raised arrogance to it's zenith.
FDC
Gee, you could've just said, "No." No need to get snippy about it!
Um, FDC realizes this whole thing was tongue-in-cheek, right?
So where's that hooker that needs her tooth pulled?
Gotcha!
Mr Importantness has amused himself for a decade playing this same ruse on me; ask the Rev.
FDC
I'm a very sensitive soul.
I was crying in my cupcakes.
Fortunatley there's already kleenex in place.
(sorry, I couldn't resist)
FDC
And what's going on with this blog? Is the Rev. laying low dodging priest sex scandals? He has a Rock Show on Fri to promote! (That would be 'Black Jesus and the Spanktones', the rock sensation that's sweeping the nation; fri night 2/17 at the IVY bar on Clark 9:30 pm, no cover)
Whither Reverend?
FDC
The real question is, where does FDC stick his kleenex?
Have I posted YA thread-ending comment? I do believe I have.
That's good thread ending boy! Mighty good!
I don't use kleenex Dr, I cleanse my privates in the naughty parts of "ladies of the night".
I'm the only one that ends threads.
Yes! Yes you are...oops.
Good day Sonny!
I said Good day!
FDC
Shut your drunk ass up, Cupid!
That's the best you've got Ubie? I'm disapointed. Were you changing diapers while thinking that one up or something?
Again, I'm the only one who ends threads.
I was so proud of you last night, FDC.
You didn't slip in a puddle of your own vomit or anything.
I guess that counts as success in your world.
Actually Ubie, I did slip in a puddle of my own vomit but that was after we 'made out' in the 2nd fl bathroom. Wait, maybe that was your vomit.
That was YOU? You promised me 20 bucks!
He hasn't seen 20 bucks since his days as a salt lick in Kenosha.
You were the one who made $20 licking something in Kenosha, Sir!
FDC
ZING!
A direct hit from the crippling wit of FDC.
Oh, however shall I recover.
I think the Rev. had better post a new entry before the interminability of this comment thread emits a Sartrean malodor.
I like this thread. There's no pressure to be witty.
I'ts with a heavy heart dear bloggers that I must report Rev. Jack and his felony-charged mistress "Phil" have fled the country to a small unnamed Micronesian archipelago with no extradition treaty with the U.S.
There will be no more "Ask Reverend Jack".
God Speed, my friend; God Speed indeed.
No he's not... I'm a a dumbass!
Quit logging on as me!
I am SO changing my password to the the name of the misguided young strumpet Sonny's cheating on his wife with.
Hint: There's NO vowels in it.
I stand corrected. There's no mistress... and I'm a dumbass... a very old.... VERY sad..... DUMBASS. my deepest apologies for wasting the time of you busy people who are my social and spiritual betters.
My penis looks like chewed gum yet it has never ever been anywhere near another living creature's mouth. Riddle me that!
Are you sure that's your penis? I think you should have a doctor look at it.
"chewed gum" Sonny? I think you posess a great deal of photographic evidence to the contrary.
Again, the Real FDC
Whuh? I've been napping. Oh my, has Johnson been discussing his Piddler again?
Did you leave your login information at your old job?
C'mon back, Rev.
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