Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Whither Boyfriend?


My husband will be traveling extensively for business this month. Is it okay if I get a boyfriend while he's gone? I don't want him for sex, just to hang my curtain rod, change the furnace filter and watch TV with me. Oh, yeah, and to take out the garbage.

38 Comments:

Blogger Rev. Jack said...

Good God, to get a boyfriend to do all of those things without sex?

Aim high, my dear.

...Good luck and God speed.

xoxo Rev. Jack

February 08, 2006 6:06 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

I already took out the garbage. And I had to watch "Lost" by myself.

And I guess I can wait for my new curtain rod. Oh, and a picture needs to be hung up, too. And there's the furnace filter.

So, do you know anyone who'd be interested in doing chores for me in exchange for my company?

February 08, 2006 7:56 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

P.S., I don't want to touch him, either. And he can't look at my cupcakes.

February 08, 2006 7:58 PM  
Blogger UberDILF said...

As long as he doesn't get to see the cupcakes, I'm on board with this plan. Hell get two of 'em.

February 09, 2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

"doing chores for me in the exchange for my company"? "I don't want him to touch me either"?

Congratulations ubermilf; you have raised arrogance to it's zenith.

FDC

February 09, 2006 1:07 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Gee, you could've just said, "No." No need to get snippy about it!

February 09, 2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Um, FDC realizes this whole thing was tongue-in-cheek, right?

February 09, 2006 2:01 PM  
Anonymous b.a. said...

So where's that hooker that needs her tooth pulled?

February 10, 2006 10:05 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

Gotcha!

Mr Importantness has amused himself for a decade playing this same ruse on me; ask the Rev.

FDC

February 10, 2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

I'm a very sensitive soul.

I was crying in my cupcakes.

February 10, 2006 1:12 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

Fortunatley there's already kleenex in place.

(sorry, I couldn't resist)

FDC

February 10, 2006 2:58 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

And what's going on with this blog? Is the Rev. laying low dodging priest sex scandals? He has a Rock Show on Fri to promote! (That would be 'Black Jesus and the Spanktones', the rock sensation that's sweeping the nation; fri night 2/17 at the IVY bar on Clark 9:30 pm, no cover)

Whither Reverend?

FDC

February 15, 2006 1:39 AM  
Blogger Dr. Sardonic said...

The real question is, where does FDC stick his kleenex?

February 23, 2006 2:26 PM  
Blogger Dr. Sardonic said...

Have I posted YA thread-ending comment? I do believe I have.

February 28, 2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

That's good thread ending boy! Mighty good!

March 03, 2006 9:36 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

I don't use kleenex Dr, I cleanse my privates in the naughty parts of "ladies of the night".

I'm the only one that ends threads.

March 05, 2006 3:05 AM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

Yes! Yes you are...oops.

March 06, 2006 6:13 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

Good day Sonny!

I said Good day!

FDC

March 06, 2006 7:51 AM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Shut your drunk ass up, Cupid!

March 07, 2006 11:31 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

That's the best you've got Ubie? I'm disapointed. Were you changing diapers while thinking that one up or something?

Again, I'm the only one who ends threads.

March 10, 2006 5:41 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

I was so proud of you last night, FDC.

You didn't slip in a puddle of your own vomit or anything.

I guess that counts as success in your world.

March 12, 2006 7:07 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

Actually Ubie, I did slip in a puddle of my own vomit but that was after we 'made out' in the 2nd fl bathroom. Wait, maybe that was your vomit.

March 13, 2006 12:21 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

That was YOU? You promised me 20 bucks!

March 14, 2006 7:55 AM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

He hasn't seen 20 bucks since his days as a salt lick in Kenosha.

March 14, 2006 9:50 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

You were the one who made $20 licking something in Kenosha, Sir!

FDC

March 20, 2006 11:23 PM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

ZING!
A direct hit from the crippling wit of FDC.
Oh, however shall I recover.

March 21, 2006 8:55 PM  
Blogger Dr. Sardonic said...

I think the Rev. had better post a new entry before the interminability of this comment thread emits a Sartrean malodor.

March 22, 2006 5:53 PM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

I like this thread. There's no pressure to be witty.

March 28, 2006 7:23 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

I'ts with a heavy heart dear bloggers that I must report Rev. Jack and his felony-charged mistress "Phil" have fled the country to a small unnamed Micronesian archipelago with no extradition treaty with the U.S.

There will be no more "Ask Reverend Jack".

God Speed, my friend; God Speed indeed.

March 29, 2006 10:42 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

No he's not... I'm a a dumbass!

March 29, 2006 10:25 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

Quit logging on as me!
I am SO changing my password to the the name of the misguided young strumpet Sonny's cheating on his wife with.

Hint: There's NO vowels in it.

March 30, 2006 1:30 AM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

I stand corrected. There's no mistress... and I'm a dumbass... a very old.... VERY sad..... DUMBASS. my deepest apologies for wasting the time of you busy people who are my social and spiritual betters.

March 30, 2006 8:31 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

My penis looks like chewed gum yet it has never ever been anywhere near another living creature's mouth. Riddle me that!

March 30, 2006 8:34 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Are you sure that's your penis? I think you should have a doctor look at it.

April 02, 2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger Fat Drunken Cupid said...

"chewed gum" Sonny? I think you posess a great deal of photographic evidence to the contrary.

Again, the Real FDC

April 03, 2006 1:22 PM  
Blogger Sonny Dryesdale said...

Whuh? I've been napping. Oh my, has Johnson been discussing his Piddler again?

April 03, 2006 9:54 PM  
Blogger Sysm said...

Did you leave your login information at your old job?

C'mon back, Rev.

May 30, 2006 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Smoke said...

Drugs are just bad, you should try to use Herbal Alternatives as a temporary replacement to loose the dependance!

July 22, 2006 10:17 PM  

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